There's a strange moment when we stop dressing the way we like and start dressing the way we think we're "supposed to". The day that happens almost always lines up with the day we start overthinking what everyone else will say.
The good news is you can unlearn it. And it's worth it, because living for everyone's approval is exhausting.
First, the secret nobody tells you
People think about us way less than we believe. That's not to make us feel small, it's the opposite: most people are so busy worrying about how they look that they barely have room left to judge us. That embarrassing moment that feels eternal to you, everyone else forgot in ten minutes.
Three things that actually work
Ask yourself if that person will matter in five years. Your best friend's opinion, yes. Someone who barely talks to you, almost never. Not all opinions weigh the same, so we don't have to carry all of them.
Run tiny experiments. Wear the thing you like even if it's weird. Share your opinion even if your voice shakes. Every time you do it and the world doesn't end, your brain learns that it's safe.
Watch out for the copying trap. Copying everyone else to fit in feels safe, but it has a hidden cost: it makes you invisible. Nobody remembers the girl who was just like everyone else.
It won't happen overnight
Caring less about other people's opinions isn't a switch, it's a muscle. You train it little by little. And every time you choose to be you instead of "what's expected", that muscle gets stronger.
This is just one of the things our future self will thank us for. Here are the other 4.
If comparing yourself to others is hard for you, you'll connect a lot with Catalina, the main character in "Guía de Campo para Entender a los Humanos" by Mara Solís. She's 13 and learning exactly how to stop performing for everyone else.
Take a look ↗